Northern Rail, Hammerton to York, Yorkshire

This sluggish twenty-minute journey, covering less than 10 miles, costs a whopping £4.80 one way for adults - you pay on board. Moreover, the trains only run every 30 minutes in the morning rush hour and every hour for the rest of the day. Although some of the carriages do have bicycle racks, this service is a sorry reflection of the state of Britain's railways. 5/10

TransPennine Express, York to Scarborough

Despite the Express moniker, this is a leisurely 50-minute journey providing far-reaching views across the Vale of York - a wide valley of fields and hedgerows bordered north and south by gentle, tree-lined slopes. The interior of this modest train isn't so gentle on the eye - furnished in lurid purple, it tends to be packed with pasty and puffy English holidaymakers heading for the slot machines and beaches of Scarborough. Trains run every hour. Book well ahead for the cheapest tickets and opt for first class if you want a bit more space and a lantern on your table. 6/10

X60 Bus, Newcastle to Scarborough

Running just once a day and only in the summer, this aging double-decker bus provides a bumpy, but relatively quick ride (2 hours 45 minutes) between Newcastle and the seaside resort of Scarborough. If the traffic is good, the driver seems to ignore the schedule and the bus can get in early. From the top-deck, there are good views over the purple-tinged wilderness of the heather-strewn North Yorkshire Moors and of Whitby and its haunting ruined abbey. In theory, a family could do a day trip with a North East Explorer ticket for just 14 pounds, but in practice you wouldn't want to spend five hours of a single day on this bus. 7/10

TransPennine Express, York to Scarborough

Despite the Express moniker, this is a leisurely 50-minute journey providing far-reaching views across the Vale of York - a wide valley of fields and hedgerows bordered north and south by gentle, tree-lined slopes. The interior of this modest train isn't so gentle on the eye - furnished in lurid purple, it tends to be packed with pasty and puffy English holidaymakers heading for the slot machines and beaches of Scarborough. Book well ahead for the cheapest tickets and opt for first class if you want a bit more space and a lantern on your table. 6/10